I’ve not been able to be as active as I’d like to be over the past couple of weeks. My grandmother was sent to the ER with heart failure and double pneumonia. She was extremely sick. Last week I found out that unless she undergoes open heart surgery to replace a valve, she will die soon.

Of course she opted to have the surgery. However, the doctor said that she is on the cusp of being too sick to operate on. She is 80 years old, in poor health and I have no illusions about the fact that these last few days before she goes into the OR might be her last.

My grandmother is my last living parental figure. Both of my parents are dead. She’s was a rock while growing up. Both of my parents were addicts and she was the one who took me and my brother in as children when we were living on the streets with our mother. When I was a child, she was the one who picked me up from school. It was her voice that I heard in my head when I was about to do something stupid.

Last weekend, I took off on my Harley to clear my head. I road until I needed to stop and weep and then road some more. Carolyn, Monique and Jodi have been really amazing while walking zombie-like through this. Also, I’ve got to say that the TFA Board, Darcy (director of our partner org) and our TG Center volunteers have been amazing over the past week and a half!

Today was the first day that I spent any significant time in the office. With Darcy’s considerable help, we worked on a grant proposal. I needed to collect the mail and return a ton of calls. Then I had the Transgender Employment Consortium meeting. I was able to get to the hospital by 3:30 today.

Both last week and this week I was making posts about the anti-trans TX SB 723 and calling Senators from my grandmother’s hospital room. She enjoyed watching me work. It was kinda funny. I’d be on the phone with an aid and in the background you could hear a nurse ask my grandmother, “Mrs. Williams, did you poo-poo today? Yes? How many times did you go?” It was hard to remain dower and serious while people are having a in-depth discussion about about the size, consistency and exact incremental amount of poo. We both got a few much-needed laughs out of that.

On another subject, I talked to Nikki Araguz today. She will be in court this Friday for a possible summary judgement. I don’t know if court will be all day or if drag out until next week. While Nikki wanted me to be there, I had to bow out of her big day so that I can be where I need to be: with my grandmother.

Anyway, I have a number of pics I’ve not posted yet. These are from the last few weeks: